A Vicarious Reading of Acts 18:5-6
In his work, Fear and Trembling, Danish theologian/philosopher Søren Kierkegaard considers the internal psychological state that Abraham must have undergone as he journeyed up towards the place where he was to sacrifice his son, Isaac. R. C. Sproul summarized this well:
"In his book Fear and Trembling, Søren Kierkegaard tries to pierce the soul of Abraham and imagine the existential anguish that Abraham went through as he was contemplating this enormous, dreadful task that God had set before him. One of the key refrains that Kierkegaard works with in Fear and Trembling is related to the biblical description of that event, when we are told that after God gives this command to Abraham, the narrative says, 'And Abraham rose up early in the morning.' Kierkegaard begins to contemplate on that phrase, and he asks the question, 'Why did Abraham get up early in the morning? Was it because he was such a virtuous, sanctified man that he rose up early to be bright and alert, and about the business of obeying the command of God?' Well, Kierkegaard doesn’t think so. Kierkegaard thought that the reason why Abraham got up out of his bed in the morning is because Abraham couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned on his bed. He was caught in the throes of existential anxiety, of fear, and of trembling, because God had commanded him to do something that was absolutely unthinkable: to destroy his own son, who indeed was the child of promise."
Though I have no strong opinion on Kierkegaard (due to not having read him enough), this did leave a strong impression on me. It was a reminder that when we read Scripture, we are not dealing with fictional characters merely there to serve as a plot device; no, we are dealing with real people in history who had real emotions, fears, doubts, sorrows, and everything that comes with being human.
This recently came to mind when I read a portion of Acts 18 a few days ago.
"And when Silas and Timotheus were come from Macedonia, Paul was pressed in the spirit, and testified to the Jews that Jesus was Christ. And when they opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he shook his raiment, and said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean: from henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles."
- Acts 18:5-6
In times prior have I merely skipped over this part without further reflection, but this time I did not. On a cursory read, it may seem that Paul nonchalantly shook his raiment and left the blaspheming Jews to be. Likely, this could not be further from the truth. What agony Paul must have undergone! To shake the dust off your feet and leave your very own kinsmen, knowing their fate was eternal damnation. How Paul must have wept then for his fellow Jews, for we should remember that this is the same Paul who—out of heavy sorrow—later wrote that he could wish that he were accursed from Christ for their sake.
The reason that this text caused such deep reflection for me this time around is because I have, in recent times, felt the same sorrow and anguish for my own kinsmen, just as Paul did. Indeed, the thought of the wholesale rejection of Christ by the Korean nation is a thought unbearable to me. We do not desire to proclaim the gospel to our race simply to check a box and say, "Well, I did my job, and my hands are clean." No, we also do it because we have a profound love for them, and we want nothing more for them than the salvation of their souls. God save my people!
Next time you come across this passage, reflect upon the agony of Paul. Do you have the same agony for your own?
"Oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!"
- Jeremiah 9:1